Fiona
“When I first came to Hāwera I didn’t know a single person. Now I’m out there in the community. Having support has been really positive.”
Fiona Turner has, as the expression goes, ‘lived a life’. The 50-something calls Hāwera home, having moved to the Taranaki town from Tauranga where she lived with her beloved husband Alan.
Fiona.
Fiona and Alan were married for 10 years, with Alan diagnosed with leukemia shortly after they got married. He spent much of their married life in and out of hospital until he sadly passed away.
While it was hard, Fiona is grateful for the time they had together.
“I still miss him, and I still love him. He was the nicest man I have ever been around. He was a gentleman; he would do anything for anyone. We just understood each other. He took good care of me, and I took care of him too,” says Fiona.
Fiona is a very articulate and intelligent person but has an impairment which impacts her literacy and her ability to understand and interpret information. She was referred to CCS Disability Action’s South and Central Taranaki branch to assist her to manage her own home.
“I am a very shy person, so I find it hard to talk to people I don’t know. I get flustered when I have to do jobs or talk to people on the phone, so it helps if there’s someone there to support me,” she says.
At CCS Disability Action, she met service coordinator Sandy Nuku. Sandy describes Fiona as a very kind and caring person. “She’s incredibly humble and always so grateful for our support,” she says. Fiona is also a lot of fun.
“She’s got a great sense of humour,” says Sandy. “When I asked her about being interviewed for this story, she joked that she’d tell the interviewer I was really mean,” says Sandy with a laugh.
Fiona also laughs when this conversation is relayed. But it turns out that Fiona thinks Sandy is anything but ‘mean’.
“Sandy is a very quiet soul and is happy in the work she does. She really listens to a person. She’s a good woman,” says Fiona.
Sandy worked with Fiona to get her set up in a rental property and organised two support workers, Everleigh & Lorraine, who assist with ‘anything and everything’ Fiona needs to live independently. This includes meal preparation, accompanying her to appointments, as well as everyday ‘life admin’ like groceries, bills, banking, and mail.
Fiona has a good relationship with her support workers and, as Sandy explains, she’s clear that her needs and wants are important. “If Fiona needs something to be different, she will definitely ask, which is great,” says Sandy.
It’s made a significant impact on Fiona’s life. “When I first came to Hāwera I didn’t know a single person. It was scary, honestly, and totally new. When I moved here, I was very timid. Now I’m out there in the community. Having support has been really positive,” says Fiona.
Sandy.
Fiona has a pampered and “very cheeky” cat called Bubby to keep her company at home. The fact her neighbours call him ‘big boy’ hints at the fact he is very well loved. As well as heading out for walks – sometimes accompanied by one of her support workers – Fiona enjoys knitting and crochet.
She also has a close-knit (pardon the pun) group of neighbours. “We are a little community,” says Fiona. “We are friendly with each other, and all look out for each other. They are there for me if I need help.”
Fiona has experienced some ups and downs during the time she’s known Sandy and the pair have built a particularly close connection as a result. “I’ve been there working alongside Fiona since day dot, so we know each other very well. She’s had a tough life and there have been times where I have really felt her mamae (pain),” explains Sandy.
Fiona was put into foster care as a baby and had a difficult childhood, bouncing around various foster homes. She’s been searching for a sense of true belonging ever since.
She spent much of her adult life trying to find her birth mother, a process that was made harder because she was never officially adopted, but instead was fostered.
When she eventually traced her mum, who lives in Australia, it wasn’t the outcome she had hoped for. Her mother was not interested in talking to her or meeting her. Fiona is empathic to her mum’s feelings. “I think it hurt her too much. I don’t blame her for giving me up or for not wanting to connect. The door is always open if she changes her mind,” she says.
While it wasn’t the relationship she had dreamed of, she has gained a deeper sense of connection, and self-worth. “Knowing who my mum is gave me a feeling that I am a somebody, not a nobody. It made me feel that I do belong somewhere,” she says.
A silver lining has been two new half-sisters, one of whom she keeps in regular contact with. Fiona is looking forward to meeting her in person when she visits New Zealand next year. “I still have to pinch myself sometimes that I’m part of a family. I feel so happy that I get to meet her.”
Further connections have been forged with the Karanga Maha whānau in Taranaki.
Karanga Maha or ‘Many Voices’ are a series of hui (meetings) guided by a community steering group in Taranaki. They are funded and organised by CCS Disability Action and also run in other parts of the country.
They create a space where whānau hauā (disabled Māori and their whānau) can stay on marae and connect, share stories, and learn about areas that are important to them.
Fiona has attended a number of hui. She would like to overcome her natural shyness so she can learn more about her whakapapa (genealogy). “I’d like to find out about my iwi,” she says and is certain to find support within the group when she is ready.
Fiona is currently writing a book about her life. While Fiona has experienced a difficult life, she’s taken those hardships and come out as a kind, insightful, and generous person, with plenty to give those around her. Hopefully her story will capture her beautiful wairua (spirit).